| Thursday, December 23rd, 2004 |
| 2:07 am |
hmm. i haven't decided if kaipai shall exist anymore. maybe some sporadic bitching, but i think that will be all. hop on over to xheartinmyhandx if you still want to be my friend :) tis all. |
| Thursday, December 9th, 2004 |
| 8:43 pm |
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| Monday, December 6th, 2004 |
| 1:41 am |
koala's march
hmm. i'm pathetic. i should be doing homework.. but alas, i am doing everything in my power to avoid it. so here is a lovely survey for you all. muah. ( stolen from my ash and dani ) Current Mood:  sleepyCurrent Music: bright eyes - blue christmas |
| Sunday, December 5th, 2004 |
| 4:55 am |
tonight was good. i love awesome people. and his smile made my heart happy. Current Mood:  peacefulCurrent Music: Olivia Olson - All I Want for Christmas Is You |
| Friday, November 26th, 2004 |
| 1:12 am |
sleepless aspirations
The things I want to accomplish in my lifetime: finish college figure out what the hell I should be - when I grow up of course :) find the best place on earth to live make a difference in this world join the peacecorps travel, constantly visit my parents often and take care of them raise my children in an unbiased setting live in europe be a photographer for national geographic mag. (this is um. a dream) figure out who I am write a book work in international law maybe learn to believe in love fall in love.. I feel that if I don't remind myself often, I'll lose sight of everything I've worked for and dream of... Current Mood: peacefulCurrent Music: Coheed and Cambria - ..Faint of Hearts |
| Tuesday, November 16th, 2004 |
| 3:48 pm |
I'm excited to go home this weekend... Do you remember.. running down the dock in our underwear? spaghetti at 2 in the morning? the butter cow? the jolly green giant? our sporadic road trips? the cemetaries? the time you set up the tent in subway? washing the car at the gas station? the slumber parties at daddy bordwell's? screwing up traffic everytime the prizm broke down? and how i was always elected to push it to the side of the road? when i married the gas station lady? walmart runs at 3 am? when we killed my car? rocking out in the truck? when we could listen to a song over and over for hours? snow days? green hot chocolate? all of the movies? sitting on the front lawn listening to drew and buster play their guitars and singing along? when i lived with you? pissing off rick and lorraine? and mary and goose? craig's oddness? cruising around town with craploads of people packed into the van? people tripping through, jumping and falling out windows? the den? the watermarks on the wall in the basement? our obsessions with bk and taco johns? all of the pictures we took? when we were elves? when we crashed the car? all of the drunken and other chemical-induced randomness and craziness? the first time we each fell in love? or when we were used? or the broken hearts? the american experience videos? the park? camping? breaking into each others' houses? the punk rock concerts? the dash concert? the nights we all stayed at trent and dani's? dani trying to fit her entire fist in her mouth? our love for barnes and noble? poking ash's butt with a fork? the weird sayings each of us had? when we turned around and there were police in the living room? working at subway? and throwing things in the fan? how many hours of saturday school you put in? brit's crazy porn? our obsessions? our plan to run away to nyc? our hopes? our dreams? i miss my ashbaby and danitard. and my trizo and brittany too. see you fuckers next week. <3 Current Mood: excitedCurrent Music: love song - src |
| Monday, November 15th, 2004 |
| 11:21 pm |
all my thoughts of you..
why is it that in the movies.. she always gets the boy, but in real life, she's too fucking scared to even talk to him... Current Mood: exhaustedCurrent Music: catch my fall - katy rose |
| Sunday, October 24th, 2004 |
| 6:06 pm |
Happy birthday, baby angel. You would have been four today. Current Mood:  confusedCurrent Music: The Closest Thing - Juliana Theory |
| Saturday, October 9th, 2004 |
| 1:21 pm |
excuse me.. sir? you're standing on my heart... Current Music: muse - plug in baby |
| Tuesday, October 5th, 2004 |
| 12:25 am |
My life is a mix of randomness and drunken stupor, with a pinch of what-ifs and whys. Somedays it gets to the point where I can't distinguish reality from fiction. Sometimes it scares me, but sometimes it's splendid living in my own little world. But then of course, it doesn't get me very far, does it? Hmph. Go to sleep little girl.. for someday you will be loved.. Current Mood: confusedCurrent Music: Fall Out Boy - Grand Theft Autumn |
| Thursday, September 9th, 2004 |
| 10:55 am |
it's my sky.. and it's beautiful... welcome back, my sweet, sweet autumn. somedays, life if just this amazing, awkward mix of beauty and sadness.. Current Mood: peacefulCurrent Music: death cab for cutie - a lack of color |
| Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004 |
| 12:49 pm |
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| Monday, July 26th, 2004 |
| 2:29 am |
randomness
fool me once.. shame on you. fool me twice.. i guess the joke's on me.. some of them want to use you some of them want to be used by you. some of them want to abuse you some of them want to be abused. words crashing through my head. memories, broken promises, lies. feels like it's all about to go crashing in. but for some reason, i welcome the pain this time. maybe it will help me forget it all. and start a new. leaving all of this behind and never looking back. everyone has their addiction... Current Mood: screaming and kickingCurrent Music: sweet dreams - marilyn manson |
| Wednesday, July 14th, 2004 |
| 4:36 pm |
as summer starts to fade....
i'm excited for college. not sure how i feel about my roommate yet. but i'll learn to deal. and i met two really awesome girls from chicago. so i think everything will go pretty good. my advisor was excited for me. haha. i don't have to take rhetoric, lit, or intro to government. woot for ap tests. but i'm still playing around with my schedule, not really sure what i want to take. so far i'm signed up for elementary french (which is every freaking morning at 9:30), problems of moral reasoning, social problems, some stupid online at iowa course, and sex and popular culture in the postwar us. the classes i really wanted to take are closed, but hopefully i'll be able to take them next semester. beginning ballet (i'm a loser haha), intro to photography, intro to women's studies, and a couple other sexuality or women studies based classes. i'm going in as an open major, and i really don't know what i want to do (other then study abroad in france) so i'm just taking some neat classes because i already have half of my gen eds covered. woot. go me. me and ash leave for florida monday. our plane leaves at six something in the morning. um. ouch. haha. oh well. i'm ready to get the hell out of spencer and away from my damn parents. who um. aren't paying for my college education. and don't want to cosign for my loans. so uh. i haven't figured out exactly how i'm going to pay for college yet, or my laptop either, but oh well. at least i have a neat chair. ha. rock on. lovely. Current Mood:  lonelyCurrent Music: neon - john mayer |
| Thursday, June 17th, 2004 |
| 12:15 am |
goodbye sane world. here i come, jesus-freaks. i will kill myself by the end of the weekend. it was nice knowing you. Current Mood: gloomyCurrent Music: this dying soul - dream theater |
| Thursday, June 10th, 2004 |
| 1:33 am |
tonight was fucked up. i fucking hate cops. god damn. |
| Sunday, May 30th, 2004 |
| 2:37 am |
you can keep all that emotional bullshit of a relationship. i just want the other stuff. hmph. Current Mood:  indescribableCurrent Music: yellowcard - one year six months |
| Thursday, May 20th, 2004 |
| 6:36 am |
today. is my last day at spencer high school. and god am i ready. here goes nothing. |
| Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 |
| 10:11 pm |
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| Sunday, May 2nd, 2004 |
| 3:11 am |
ribbons and goosebumps..
hmm. tonight was good. but i'm so confused about life. i know exactly what i want with life. but it seems that everyone is pushing me in a totally different direction. i would tell you what i want, but you would just laugh it off, and join in pushing. only a couple people take me seriously these days. it's so frustrating. it seems that everyone else is happy with their choices for their future. go to college, get married, two and a half children with a fucking white picket fence. ha. no thank you. i don't know. it's just frustrating sitting here, having people tell me that what i want out of life isn't what they want for me. gah. oh well. bitching isn't going to get me anywhere i suppose. we could leave this town and run forever... Current Mood:  bitchyCurrent Music: minutes too far - what you don't know |
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kaipai's journal
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